Conversations with my father

When my mother died

he said,

'We were lucky to have her

as long as we did.'

Surely, I thought.

9 years later,

we spread those ashes in the sea

and he sighed,

'It's over for me, I just want closure.'

What is closure? I asked myself.

One winter afternoon

he confided,

'She was so much more successful than me, I think she was disappointed.'

Yes, I answered silently.

3 days before the sheriff came to seal the doors of the house

he asked me to sit in the living room and said,

'I've lost the house.'

'If you had told us', I sputtered impotent.

Over dinner dimly lil

he told me

he started drinking wine in the sacristy when he was 11 years old.

Why?  The word formed mute in my mouth.