Before
the School Dance Seated On a Green Velvet Sofa
I
look meticulously through the lens at the girl poised on a green velvet sofa. White
lace dress,
blue silk scarf gently draped over shoulders,
halo-like on top short black curls, a heart shaped face, childish cheeks and
red lipstick on young lips.
Prim
in the printed photograph. A lovely,
bare arm arched across the sofa back, legs gracefully exposed. Waiting for him
to come pick you up in his red car. Not
quite smiling, waiting,
waiting.
You
hated that picture, the full faced girl from the farm. Not you.
Not
the 'you' from later. I look, thoughtfully tracing elements that
tell the future.
Before
life was meted out.
Before
the handsome boy in the red car was an alcoholic. 4 years before your first child-a mistake; a daughter
with the reflex of perfectionism to make up for the original sin of her
birth. Before debts swelled, before
marriage ended in divorce, before cancer spread in your frail body, not long
before death.
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorites so far, how the photograph takes the reader through time, capturing so many complex emotions.
As you revise, one thing I might suggest is consider taking out the original frame, the "I look meticulously through the lens" and open with the image which is so strong. The long lines in the final stanza may also feel a bit off. There's so much happening, marriage and birth and life and death, that breaking those lines might be intriguing.
Part of me wonder if this wants to be a longer poem. How is the boy handsome? What brought on his alcoholic weakness, bourbon or gin? What did the daughter do to try making everything perfect? Where did cancer strike?
Please ignore these questions if you find it doesn't help you at all. Even if you didn't lengthen that last stanza, I would still love to see some of those tight images that open the poem.
Again, it's another rich and compelling poem.